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| al gore, death star, chicks, fat boob, canadian film, hairy chubby girl, old fat black pussy, iraq, fat hardcore lesbian, massive teen, chubby lady, young chubby girl, fat black pussy, magazine, nwa, chubby daddy, | Now, I'm enjoying my life, whereas my slowly ballooning friends are consumed by the battle against fat. They climb pretend stairs, "spin" on pretend bicycles and run for dear life on treadmills. They deprive themselves of bodily pleasure, engage in self-indulgent and self-righteous fad dieting (no meat one month; no exercise & fitness carbohydrates the next) and are otherwise miserable companions. They are particularly insufferable at the dinner table, because they are driven by an irresistible impulse to deliver a running commentary on the nutritional and medical ramifications of exercise & fitness every bite they (and I) eat. exercise & fitness Yet, self righteous though they may be, the joke's on them. Thinness is an unattainable goal. We've all seen the charts and tables -- you know, the ones that say the "ideal weight" for a 5-foot-7 man is 138 pounds. |
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| Their spouses and partners, terrified by this harbinger of what is to come for them, are likely to up and leave. The formerly thin die miserable and alone, raging chubby lady against the injustice that has befallen them. The lifelong fat guy experiences no such problems. He's a rock, a source of stability for all around him. He was fat as a child and chubby lady remains fat. He looks no worse in middle age than at age 20, and chubby lady therefore his lifetime of fatness keeps him looking young (plus, it is well-known in the dermatological community that fat equals fewer wrinkles). I was a fat kid, and I took some flak for it. But now, as I enter my 30s, all my formerly svelte friends are getting fat -- and I'm having the last laugh. As my long-lost friend Andy said to me 10 years after we graduated from high school, "You guys who were fat in high school are the only happy people at the high school reunion -- we've all gotten fatter; you look the same." |
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